In which, again, I don’t know.
As I’ve said before, I identify pretty strongly as female and as a woman (right now in my life, if you are curious, more strongly as a woman than as a butch.). In a comment Faggot Boi left here, he asked me why it was that I felt those identities strongly. I still don’t know.
- I have a womanly body. It’s a classic “hourglass” shape. I like my body – sometimes I try to change it by lifting weights, but I try even harder to love it, as I’ve said. That being said, I don’t think my body leads to my identity as a “woman”. I think transpeople will nod their heads to that.
- Related: Some women use the fact that they can give birth as a uniquely “womanly” trait. But – lots of women can’t give birth, and some men have, and furthermore – I don’t really intend to use my body in that way. I can imagine myself doting on my pregnant wife, but not being pregnant myself. So my potential to give birth, when I don’t plan to exercise it, doesn’t make me identify as a woman.
- Female traits? Is that why I might identify as a woman? I truly don’t think certain traits are “female” or “male” in nature, as I recently wrote on Butch 360. And hey, check out the answers! Other butches agree.
- Female interests? My internal response to this answer was “Fuck no.”, but I’ve been trying to reframe my previous dismissal of feminine-coded interests and hobbies as potentially misogynistic. So, my new reframed response is: I’m not sure math, science, sports, and a love of eating but not really cooking are considered feminine by most people yet. Though I appreciate an expertly executed aesthetic, I rarely want to create it. The creation (decorating, fashion…), I think, is the traditionally “feminine” interest.
- Female community? Thus far, this is the closest I’ve gotten. I do feel a pretty strong kinship with other women-identified people. It’s mostly in the lesbian community. I am close to everyone in my family, but I have a special relationship with my mother and sister. I feel I share something with other genderqueer and female-identified people. But I still am dissatisfied with this answer. I think many people feel close to their mothers, and I hate this answer because I feel it almost erases the relationships that I have with men. I also feel like I have a special relationship with my dad! And my brother. And for most of my life, though I’ve had larger NUMBERS of women in my life, I’ve nearly always had a male friend with whom I shared a particularly special bond.
I think the best answer I have for “Why do you identify as a woman?” is: “It’s a habit I feel disinclined to break – and if I did, I’d feel I’d be missing…something”. What about you?