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The Guy Code

January 10, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

A story: At a party that I was not at, my girlfriend starts to get hit on by this guy.  Not being interested, she turns him down by ignoring him at first, using body language in the hopes that he’ll go away.  This, as you might guess, doesn’t work.  He makes it even more obvious that he is attracted to her, she states explicitly that she is not interested.  Then she says she is gay.  He seems disbelieving.  She informs him that yes, she is gay, she has a girlfriend.  He seems further disbelieving.  “Oh yeah, what’s her name?” She gives him my name.  His face goes white, and he walks away.

Turns out I work with the guy.

I know what I think/feel: equal parts anger, amusement, and a sense of injustice.  Anger because “WHAT THE FUCK MAN. YOU HIT ON MY GIRL.” Amusement because it’s a funny story.  And a sense of injustice because he should have just paid attention when she said “No” in the first place.  I mean, I feel kind of special that my name is what made him stop, but the thing that should have made him stop is her disinterest, not me.  According to the Guy Code, he did everything right – stopped when he found out he was hitting on a girl already spoken for.

I’m conflicted by my feminism – what happened really happened between the two of them and I shouldn’t insert myself as my girlfriend’s protector – and my sincere desire to protect not only my girlfriend, but other women as well.  He should have stopped when she said “No”, and I want to tell him that.  Pointedly.  With a lot of glaring.

Categories: Introduction
  1. January 14, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    I can’t say why exactly but I loved this. I love that it was you who made his face turn white.

  2. Kaitlin
    January 15, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    It’s a small world, eh?

    I think all of your reactions are appropriate. But I’m anxious to hear how things are at work between the two of you. Was he awkward? We need an update.

  3. G
    January 15, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    I think your reactions are all pretty natural. I’ve been in a similar situation before (except I didn’t work with the guy; he was just a friend of a friend), and I experienced the same range of emotions.

    The only thing I disagree with is this: “According to the Guy Code, he did everything right – stopped when he found out he was hitting on a girl already spoken for.” I guess maybe that’s if he’s following kind of a douchebag Guy Code, but he should’ve stopped when your girlfriend told him she wasn’t interested. It shouldn’t take her being spoken for to get him to shut up. I realize that is the best case scenario and doesn’t always happen that way.

    • January 16, 2011 at 2:29 pm

      I disagree with that too! He’s sort of a jerk; I assumed he was following the douchebag Guy Code.

  4. January 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    I’d just tease him about it later. Humor always helps defuse awkward situations, especially with guys, who often rib each other. I’d say, “So I heard you tried to pick up on my girl the other day? I know she is hot and all, but next time imma have to kick your ass!” If you say it with a laugh and a smile… he’d probably just apologize and you guys can laugh about it. Really, coming from someone who has a gorgeous gf that gets hit on left and right, just take it as a compliment.

  5. Faggot Boi
    February 1, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    I entirely agree with you. Women are more than property to be left alone only when already claimed. But this is just to add (humorously) that the Gay Guy Code would be “So what?” “So what you have a boyfriend and he’s sitting right next to you? So do I.”

  1. March 4, 2011 at 7:13 am

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