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Gratitude.

November 25, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

Gratitude is something in which I have always been awash. For whatever reason – I like to think I have wonderful parents who raised me to appreciate life – I have always been more than aware of how lucky I am to have access to the many things in my life. And by things, I don’t mean Things, like my laptop or my nice apartment (though I am happy to have them). Here’s an incomplete gratitude list, of things that I appreciate, not just today, but also every day.

  • For my incredible family, and the joy in which they take being allies.  I never take that for granted.  My girlfriend is spending the holidays with us, and it’s easy and simple, and our relationship is visible.  My mom might start volunteering at an organization that works with LGBT youth.
  • My wonderful, amazing girlfriend.  We went on a mountain bike ride with my parents today, and as I watched her navigate some technically challenging single track paths, I was amazed at her tenacity and willingness to tackle a challenge.  Just one example of the many reasons I love her.
  • I am grateful for my job, which keeps me busy and challenged.  I am grateful that my colleagues know about my relationship, that I’m gay, and that this has never been an issue in my workplace.  I am happy I have freedom to explore myself through dress and that my changing presentation over the past year has never been a problem at the workplace.
  • I am ecstatic to count among my community so many wonderful, intelligent, funny friends.
  • I am happier than I can say to have this blog as a space to deconstruct, and sometimes reconstruct, my concept of self in relation to gender.
  • More than I can say, I am grateful for the people who, over the past month, have sent me notes letting me know that they appreciate this blog as well.  I’ve struggled less with my gender in the past few weeks than I ever have, which explains the lack of posting, in addition to the whole…full-time job, part-time school thing.  Your notes reaffirm my decision not to close this space.  Even if I can’t come to it as frequently as I would like, I always receive your notes with more than a little pride in butch community.

Not so long ago, I wrote a post describing how difficult the holidays could be for me.  Mostly, I am happy that they are no longer quite so hard to get through.  Thank you to all of you for being a little part of that transformation.  I hope your Thanksgiving is also happy and joy-filled, but if it isn’t, I hope you can make use of this blog, either through the comments or just by reading it, to give you a little strength.

P.S. Yesterday was my birthday! I’m old.

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Categories: Introduction
  1. November 25, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    I just wanted to stop in after reading a few of your blog posts, and tell you that you area wonderful writer and I have really enjoyed reading your posts! I am just coming into my own identity as a lesbian and I am still unsure some days about a lot of things. Seeing that I am not the only one that goes through some issues really does help!!! Happy Thanksgiving to you!

    • December 9, 2010 at 8:16 pm

      I appreciate your comment. It takes a while and there are STILL occasional days where I question whether I actually am even a lesbian, let alone genderqueer. As long as it doesn’t bring me down, thinking critically about my identit(y|ies) is a great thing. Thanks for commenting!

  2. GC
    November 29, 2010 at 12:05 am

    I always enjoy reading what you write and your point of view. I think you are dead on on what butch means.

  3. G
    December 6, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    I grateful to count you among the great people I’ve met through this amazing virtual community.

    P.S. Happy belated birthday! I’m also a November baby, and we’re good peeps.

    • December 9, 2010 at 8:15 pm

      Huzzah. I feel the same. Isn’t it awkward knowing that our parents had sex in February, probably on Valentine’s Day? Although likely just as awkward as knowing that they had sex on the other 364 days of the year.

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