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A promise.
To my brothers,
For too long now, I have decided not to smile at you, not to display my giddy excitement when I see you. My reasons for doing so are plenty.
I really dislike all of these reasons. So from now on, when I see you, I promise to smile at you. If you think I’m hitting on you…so what, I probably am. If I don’t come off as tough…so what, I am.
All my best,
Harrison
Categories: Introduction
How To Be Butch 
nice! unfortunately i’m unlikely to bump into you for a smile, but if you’re ever in south africa, i promise to smile back :)
Harrison..omg, I’m there with you.. I want to go up to every butch and say hi, shake their hand, slap them on the back, buy them a beer, swap stories.. but I’ve held out for all those reasons, plus another one: maybe you don’t identify as butch and you’ll be offended that I see you and label you thusly.
I hate it, why do we have those barriers up? Maybe we should start a movement, at the cost of our feelings or perhaps our noses, but maybe we should start introducing ourselves. Find some opening line, dorky or not, that could communicate that we aren’t hitting on them (unless we are) and not trying to snag their date (we really shouldn’t) and not too weird.. what do you think?
Harrison and Kyle, I’m with you. It makes me nervous to acknowledge anyone too obviously (whatever THAT means) for many of the same reasons, yet I’d be thrilled if I could get that same response. I have a running joke with my friends about how I have STILL never been on the receiving end of the “gay nod,” that brief chin lift of recognition.
But since I read this the other day, I’ve recommitted to getting over whatever my fears and issues are to be better at reaching out to my community. Thanks for the inspiration.
Dudes! Start nodding! Or maybe an eyebrow lift! Secret gay handshake, come on!
I love this commitment you’ve made. Well done! Seeing/acknowledging one another is huge. I can’t wait to hear an update.
I do the chin lift, and usually get a nod or head bob back. But I want more.. so yeah, I guess some of us will have to break through this weird barrier and start a trend
I hear you. If we don’t acknowledge and signal approval of each other, who will? It’s infinately better than the fisheye stare I sometimes get from straight folks. Besides I am always flattered when anyone thinks I’m attractive, and I tend to go for other butches or genderqueers.
This, and the comments, are awesome. I’m not butch, but I have the same hesitation, especially Kyle’s comment about them being offended that I see them as butch if they don’t identify that way.
I do have an advantage, maybe, in that I can’t quite stop the semi-coy flirting smile when I see a butch, even if I’m not interested. (It’s meant a lot of people have thought I’m interested when I’m not… but I can safely say that’s only been a bad thing once, and I’ve done it a LOT. So, from my experience, if they think you’re flirting it’s okay. ;-D)
Anyway, I heartily support this. It’s nice to be known and acknowledged.
J
I actually today at dinner was able to do this successfully for the first time. And DUDES, ze smiled back. Awesome.
G, I also have never gotten a gay nod, which serves as a running joke among me and my friends as well.