Home > FtB > Hair Evolution

Hair Evolution

A little eye candy for you, if I may flatter myself.  For me, cutting my hair was the most transforming experience that I’ve had as a butch.  To me, that is the moment when I stopped thinking, “You’ll never be butch. You’ll never be seen as a butch.  You’ll never be treated as a butch.” and started thinking, “Fuck, I’ve been this way the whole time.”  Getting my haircut gave me permission to start shaping my body the way I wanted to shape it, and to dress it the way I wanted to dress it.  Last year, though, when I cut it, I still didn’t really get the cut that I wanted.  I started getting it cut short in a women’s style.  Then I finally bit the bullet almost 10 months later and said, “I want a men’s style and I don’t care if it scares people.”  But the best moment was last week, when I said to myself, “I want hair that I can spike up in the front, because that is really the haircut that I’ve wanted this whole time.  Screw it all, I’m going to get it!”

This is the haircut I had for about 5 years.

This is the haircut my stylist gave me when I asked for it to be shorter…not quite.

The day I finally went above my ears short.

Closer, Justin Bieber….

Closer still…

Hot damn.  There it is.

And as you can see, I also perfected my model face.

*Despite my flippant tone, showing you all my face is kind of scary.

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Categories: FtB
  1. August 17, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    THERE is is! So right. xo

  2. oregoncoastgirl
    August 17, 2010 at 1:30 pm

    Excellent!

  3. August 17, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Holy hell.

    That was a great progression to watch unfolding… With a smokin’ hot end result!

    Also- I’m femme, but chopping my hair off into the super short pixie cut I had for five years was one of the most liberating things I ever did.

    • August 18, 2010 at 7:12 am

      Hair politics. “It’s not about the clothes”, and yet, it is. It’s weird, isn’t it?

      I’m glad you liked it. :-D (That’s first picture face, last picture hair.)

  4. August 17, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    Wow! That’s a great cut for you! Yum!

  5. Nebulous
    August 17, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    I’ve just recently had the best haircut of my entire life. And I got it at a girly salon place too. I was terrified but it turned out really well. I’m glad you got your hair the way you want it, hair is important. Looks great!

  6. Stat
    August 17, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    I agree, getting to ‘the haircut’ is like arriving at the destination you have longed for and not totally been aware of. When I finally got there, I found that the combination of how good I felt and the way people responded to a more overt butch look, really sealed the deal. Interested to see if you believe you get a different response from people around you, work etc.

    • August 18, 2010 at 7:10 am

      Yes, I definitely get a different response since cutting my hair shorter. I’m not sure I can opine on what it’s like to have this haircut, as it’s only been 5 days. But when I got my haircut short I went from being constantly street harassed to almost never. People wonder much more vocally about my sexual orientation now. Before it was something they’d start to wonder after a month or two (this is at work), and now it’s something they pick up on immediately. Though it’s rare, I get hit on more often by women now. That is something that never used to happen, but that may be related more to my age and social circumstances than it was to my hair. I also get read as male more frequently, most notably by gay men, who hit on me as well.

      These were all things I wanted, so I am very happy about them. I imagine if I were (frequently) pursuing men it would be more annoying that their interest dropped off (or that gay men ignore me once they realize I am female). But I’m not.

  7. G
    August 17, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    Hey, it’s nice to see you! And the new haircut looks downright handsome on you, if I may say so.

    When I finally arrived at The Haircut, it felt so damn good. I think it’s so important to me because it’s one of the few authentically physical attributes I can match to my gender presentation. That is to say, I can control how butch it is. In fact, I tend to start getting a little unnerved when my hair starts getting too long anymore.

    Thanks for sharing this transformation with us.

  8. kalisisrising
    August 19, 2010 at 3:26 am

    That is so cool!

  9. August 19, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    Hey, there! Holy hotness! Wow. ;) Good to put a face w/ the tweets. Our mutual friend, M, isn’t staying in Chicago. Her lease is up in Nov & she’s moving back here. Huh. So … should I tell her I “know” you? :)

  10. e
    August 23, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    Nice haircut! Suits you very well. The first couple of pictures remind me of so many girls I went to school with ~ they didn’t want long hair but they didn’t want to mess with it either. It was always just parted in the middle and hanging down on either side of their face. Until they grew up and said, “F*ck it! I’ll wear it how I want!” Nice to get to that point!

  11. kaitlin
    August 23, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    What a great transformation that was to watch!

    You are rocking the hair. Very nice!

  12. me
    August 25, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    Beautiful series of photos with a beautiful result. Fantastic.

  13. Erin
    August 26, 2010 at 11:08 am

    You look effin hot!

  14. August 27, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    Thank you all for your comments. For real, friends, in a world full of only a few smiles for us carriers of butch hotz, you surely must have used up damn near all of the quota for me.

  15. August 31, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    I agree with the others: amazing transformation. You do have your model face down, no need to be shy, you look great. This is a brave post, I could do something similar, but I really don’t want to expose you to my “rocker girl” permed look.

  16. Victoria Oldham
    September 23, 2010 at 7:35 am

    What a phenomonal difference from the first to the last! And most excellent that you took the path that lead to showing the person you are inside, on the outside.

    Strangley, I had the oppossite problem–I had hair down to my waist (I’m femme, all the way) and when we moved to England I got it cut due to pressure to look more “styled”. I lost two feet of hair, and cried for three months…

    It really does make an internal difference.

  17. la
    September 28, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    my girlfriend has that first haircut now. a few months ago it was really long, in sort of a rockerish greasy guy way. (hadn’t wanted to go to a salon) she’s been cutting it herself for a few months, shorter and more technically skilled every time (ooh, this time i made it even in the back! ooh, bangs! ooh, sideswept bangs!) she doesn’t identify as butch (yet?) but she’s the only whatever-she-is around here. it was so odd watching somebody transform the same way she is. thanks for it.

  18. October 2, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    So late to this, but two things:

    1. You are v. brave.
    2. The hair is HOT and super flattering.
    3. Don’t be scared of showing your face, that’s hot, too!

    OK, that was three, but I showed M this post and we both think that it was incredible of you to post your hair journey and think you’re the bee’s knees. XO!

  19. qtn
    October 22, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    YEAH!

  20. secretcomix
    November 6, 2010 at 10:21 am
  21. Omy
    December 17, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    This is great. :) I’ve long considered myself “femme.” Or femme-presenting, anyway. I recently got into a relationship with this girl who is femme and suddenly I find myself leaning towards wanting to present as more-masculine-leaning (on certain days.) Other days, I still feel femme. It was like she gave me permission to try being this other way, see if it fits. I’ve always been attracted to more butch girls, so being attracted to a femme girl, and finding myself spun to the other direction on the gender spectrum, has been interesting for me. The first thing I did when I found myself in this new phase of identity, was to cut my hair. I have always worn it short, for the past ten years or so, but now I am wanting to try out more ‘manly’ styles and see how those feel on me. And they have been feeling better and better, actually.

    In your last picture, you look so handsome, the cut is spot on.

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