Home > Uncategorized > Sorry to fill the internet with sparkles and giggles, but.

Sorry to fill the internet with sparkles and giggles, but.

January 27, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

I have been dating my girlfriend for two years.  The girlfriend who is currently making me this (with homemade biscuits!).  I am in love with her, and love her. I’m sure the slight semantic difference is lost on no one.  Being with her marks the first and only time I’ve been flooded with all those amazing chemicals that produce a ‘love’ response.  Wow.  And – as a skeptic when it comes to my emotions – I was a little shocked when all those chemicals faded and the strength of those feelings still remained.

With both of us being so young, I feel that it’s particularly easy to make a lot of promises that you can’t necessarily know that you’ll keep.  I have no idea where I’ll be in two years, and I doubt she does either.  But I really, really hope that – wherever we are – we’re together.

Of her, in this blog, I feel the most important thing that I have to say is that I’m not sure I would have had the strength to be myself without her support.  Knowing that she had sensed those masculine energies in me from the very beginning, and knowing that that was part of the reason she loved me, was so vital to my acceptance and exploration of my identity and self.  She takes my fears and soothes them away.  For example, in a recent fit of anxiety about my authenticity, she said, “You’re in your 20s.  You don’t have enough life experience to have a sense of authenticity.  You have nothing to point to and say, ‘Of course, this is the way I’ve always been.'”  It’s the healthy dose of the truth (“Of course you don’t know.”) that the realist in me needs to know that my feelings about being inauthentic are totally…authentic.

When we’re out in the big scary world, and I feel scrutinized because of what I’m wearing or how I look, she reminds me that it’s cause I’m fucking hot, dammit.

I hope that I give her as much as she gives me. I love her so much – so sorry to be all mushy, but two years is a freaking long time!

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. January 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    2 years, yay! what a sweet post. and you can be mushy whenever you want! no need to apologize for it ;)

  2. Snooki
    January 27, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Long-time girlfriend and reader, first time commenter. I can’t wait to show you exactly how much I love you when you get home; I brought my heels, just like you asked. ;-)

    Love, Snooki (until I think of something else!)

  3. January 27, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    this is almost too sweet. aw.

  4. kalisisrising
    January 29, 2010 at 5:01 am

    Congrats! That’s awesome.

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